1 run loss against the FEC

ok bases loaded, you showed us what a bunch of sorry bad losers we are.

who lost this game by 1 run to the FEC? i'll tell you who:
jules for his bad attitude towards my cocky bragging email about how much we were going to kill the FEC
those tasty trader joe's cheezits. deceptively delicious, but evil
brock, for having a son you never told us about
mustard, you just sucked buddy, until you pitched, then you were awesome
chris, you know you are responsible for their game-winning armpit home run? ok, you had one too, but still
dougles, for bringing 'the other girl' to the field - where's megan?? does she know?
cindy, you switch hit at the best moment, but i loved it
jules, did you trip k-lo at the bar? you're going to pay for that...for EVER
ok jordan, you're new guy, you have to play a little further out
speaking of which, where's new guy? bering sea? wtf? and woody? is your bonfire worth a BL loss?
dr. steve, you were lukewarm, but those glasses were hot, we'll let that slide.
f u mosquitos

i'll tell you who didn't lose the game:
my awesome catch in right field despite i never made it onto first base
those spicey planters peanuts
pepe
roxy, came late but represented
migar! you're back! left field homer, we love it!
k-lo brought it when we needed it. and killed like, 5 endangered species in big buck hunter.
adam and jess, aren't they adorable?
tom, haven't seen the wifey yet!
lisa kicked ass at third, AND caught crucial foul ball
megatron's order of cheap-o beer and cheese tubes at asylum
the kid: you're f-ing heavy!

everyone else, you're off the hook.

=coach a

BL MJ edition

the showme asses had some hottie ladies on the field, who were bad, bad, badass catching and sliding and diving, but let's face it, look at the man in the mirror, they've got to make a change cuz the rest of their team and dudes sucked and we must have won too much because they declined our offer for a round of drinks at solly's and instead beat it.
johnny T had 2 in the park homers, which means he got to do it once in each armpit, but the kid is not his son! we had a new new guy jordan who is officially the youngest BL barely legal player ever, who was born the year Bad was released! and also means matthew is old new guy. mustard was a smooth criminal on the mound, in an inning when there were more cigarettes on the field than bases, i like it. klonger was like, E9 and cindy got on base more than jules does in a year with the ladies. fancy pants lisa and fancier pants jules need to town down their dress or i'm going to have to wear a miniskirt next time. let's keep workin it work it work it day and night to actually make the playoffs in september! holy bananas!!

what do you call that?

a snow-out...
a hold-out...
a girl-scout...
a smoke-out...

a BLOW-OUT!

it was the day before may
and all across the mall
BL was swingin, and playin' some ball
the natty D's had absolutely NO game
we kicked their asses and put them to shame
no one on BL had ever seen this happen
running those bases, like super fast headphone guy just lappin'
is it possible? BL could be season champs?
as i watched i laughed so hard, had cramps
greatest thanks go to woody and farm dude, the two new guys
who said stuff like, "yeah i've played once or twice" those were just lies
brock was kinda bummed, he's no longer mvp
it's ok brockstar, you're always #1 to me
then he hit two homers, and then steve, then chris
and we continued to drink beer that tasted like piss
speaking of which, rookie guys are the only ones who provided
they're also the equipment managers, it's been decided
the competition is on now, we're tallying season home runs
loser brings hot dogs, we've got buns!

coach A - i hit a fucking triple!!!

BL hates Oklahomans

who were those losers, with their green shirts, couldn't tell them apart as they switched up all their bunty girls in their line-up, even switched out dudes - which amounts to CHEATING in BL's rule book. everyone knows the home field rules:
everyone who shows up bats.
everyone who shows up drinks.
everyone who hits a home run wears a sombrero.
punishments and rewards are administered by pepe.

is that so freakin' hard to understand?

i was one of the first to show up to the game, and two drunk dudes were hogging the bench in the BL dugout, and jason, doug and his friend megan were cowering in the other doug-out (get it?). what gives? are you guys scared of a couple a drunks (mind you, drunk #1 weighed like, 300 lbs)?
no, we're scared they're going to drink all our beer.
who, those guys?
they proved insatiable. the self-proclaimed youtube lovers smoked doug's cigarettes and probably went through 10 beers by the 3rd inning, but it's a small price to pay for some good hootin' and hollerin'. they stayed the whole game. and will probably be there next week. mr. Q is going to cater our sloshball tourney, we're gonna roast a pig this year!

so back to the game recap. we had two lefty pictures with ari's fastballs every other inning, some double plays, and some blunders, k-lo got drilled repeatedly until they finally smashed her hand to pieces. we had a lot of popups and crummy base running, in stellar BL style. what stood out was meg showing up in a hot dress and heels and mr. Q goin' where you BEEN?! and newcomer cindy who made an awesome catch in right field AND crushed the kostume karaoke at solly's with a jabbin' rendition of eye of the tiger dressed as annie in a jockey outfit - that automatically secures her a spot on the BL roster. the rains tried to kill our party, along with grumpy bartender, but nothing can ever slow us down. i was druuuuuuuunk when i got home.

BL gets rained out, drinks instead

so it all started out normal enough. tho by 8:30 pm, the effects of drinking beer out of plastic cups was visible. BL representation: the triumvirate...and khlamad
smashley didn't get the instructions on how to be "new jersey"

the asses
seriously khlamad?

coach A snags a ticket...a Bryan Adams plays a concert in a synagogue ticket!you don't believe me?
ladies pose for Bryan Adams.

BL has a field team...in hawaii

and they make fun of us on their lame-o blog! weeeeeak.

http://napahu.blogspot.com/

BL loses to Dunder Miff (aka big lebowski's) but it doesn't really count so THERE

and besides, the game ended early. park police came and shut us down just as we were working on our 22 run comeback. officer do gooder walks onto the field and is all "this game is sold!" and i was all, "i'm sorry, what does that mean?" officer DG: someone's going to jail" and then our lawyer was all "you don't have the authority to do that, sir" and then officer DG is all "y'all been drinkin' too much" and the toddler is all "we're just gettin' started!" if i had to go to jail for my softball team, though i totally would. and we would take pictures.

BL officially starts its 7th season

spring is here, softballs and pbrs are flyin'.

we joined the house league this year, a big step for BL.

we are formally affiliated with Solly's Tavern and we're ready to roll peoples.

BL ends season with fantastic hairdos

FEATS OF STRENGTH

It is henceforth decreed throughout the land that any female bases loaded member can, and should, perform the following feats of strength to take up her rightful place of leadership of our glorious, winning, aptly named softball club.

Meg, Lisa, Suzanne, Jess....any other takers for this crown?

Feats of Strength:

1. A good coach must be able to function fairly normally while intoxicated and potentially dizzy from delight at her winning team. To that end, the first feat of strength will be the whirly bat competition. (Note: For this, as for all feats of strength, shots/beers shall be ordered indiscriminately as rewards/punishments/inducements/hindrances. Rules exist only in the minds of the triumvirate, and that's all you need to know.)

2. A good coach much also be an excellent base coach (i'm serious jules). To that end, the second feat of strength will be for each participant to coach first base for at least two innings and make outrageous calls in our favor.

3. A really good coach must be able to negotiate with the other team in terms of rules, playing fields, etc. To that end, the third feat of strength will be to negotiate/swindle the natty d's into buying rounds for the captains and judges. (this will be ridiculously easy, and we're basically throwing you a softball here. ha ha) Bonus points for negotiating with peyton, cause he's a tough cookie.

4. A quality coach must also be able to think on her feet. To that end, the next feat of strength will be an interview competition. Perhaps, 'how can solly's improve world peace?', or 'how does ben's chili bowl improve world peace?' or 'is world peace an impossible dream made unachievable by global capitalism, man's innate hunger for power and self-destruction, and our perpetual state of numbness caused by television and a celebrity based culture?'. or something like that. if you can outdo miss teen south carolina, there's some big bonus points in it for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLIcY2QgLeA

5. Last but not least, a really really good coach must have excellent musical taste. Each contestant will pick a song on the jukebox at solly's that she feels best represents this season of bl glory. This will be judged by the triumvirate. Phish or Debbie Gibson are grounds for immediate disqualification.

Any questions?
Good.

Let the games begin.Kisses, coach a, ass coach and deputy ass

BL's new game ball

hit a home run with this thing!

last game vs. Natty Ds

you can't swing at the ball,
you can only drink beeer,
you can't catch a fly ball, even when it's neeear,
you can noonan their outfielder, cause him to rage,
you play like season one
but you're always a winner to meeeee

so let's just forget,
just drink it away,
we have a big game next week on a thursday
against the big bad smelly natural disasters
you better be there or
you'll funnel a big one for the teeeeam

oooooohhhhhh how it will be so awesome
to kill natty Ds once again
and then take them to Sollys
Ooooooooh and there's one more surpriiiise
no it won't be our demise,
there's some news to announce:

at inning number four
while khlamad goes to the stooore,
the feats of strength will be proven and more
by the new potential ass coach, who will it beeeee?
maybe jess, maybe kathryn, suzanne,
lisa, meg, but not meeee!

game is at our home field,
you know it's called Bundy
but if any other team asks, you tell them Kennedy
it's our field, our secret, and no one can know
that the source of our wins
is motormouth, the pee smelling alley!!

what's up with this team?

so i get to the field and joel is like "so erika, what's up with your dog? i hear it has gingivitis" and it's khlamad's birthday, and he's all "grip and growl?" and then the girls are like "wow, can you believe those are high school guys?" and then i'm like "who's the fastest one we can recruit" and their 400 lb. assistant coach says "I am!" and then we're like "warming up is for losers" and then Bases Loaded is like "we're crushing you with these 6 runs" and then Chris is like "WZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" with his new kazoo and Jules is like "I've eaten too many grapes" and then the other team is all "we suck" and then Joel is like "noonan" and their first base man is like "that's not cool" and then their dude hits the ball and it's like "i'm going to take your head off!" and then my pitches are like "i can barely make it over the plate" but then lisa is like "i'm totally catching 3 pop-flys this inning" and then matt is like "who are these guys? is this the same team as last year?" and then the next inning is like "remember me? the blooper reel?" and then the grip and growl goes "VROOOOOOOOM!" and john is like "in the park home run bitches, where's my sombrero?" and then aaron is like "i'll show you chumps how we play in brooklyn" and then the score is like, "tied" and then there's some tasty base running like "score!" and lots of slides, like "swooosh" and we're all like, "take that losers" we score a whole bunch of other runs and jules is like, "so you guys are the non-pros, like non-prophylactics?" and someone is like "yeah, no condoms, we like it raw" and then johnny is like "who's turn is it to funnel?" and then the funnel is like "BOOOYA!" and then Solly's is all "yay! we won! again!" and then everyone is like "i'm drunk" and then i'm like "i'll take wron fllafllelel plrease" and aaron is like "yorrrrr me tooo, what's with all these frixins" and then my tummy is like "thank you" and then my brain is like......"BL rules."

recap of game 12: BL vs. BL

there seems to be a mid season message hanging over bases loaded, and that message is... beware..
i do sincerely believe that we now have, without any doubt put our wheels on; the score: 7-5!
in true style, the team started arriving late, apart from Johnny "where is everybody" Palena, showing up at 5h30, and candidly pointing out, that the overturned car was not, as I thought, parked in the middle of the alley; little did we know that he would then crush three of our players with superb catches in the outfield, making bases loaded his own "coda alla vaccinara".

As for the Nissan, after accelerating under demonic influences and remodelling the neighborood, we had a similar wreck of our own, never looked so good too, even better when it was being dragged across the alley, and making history for the first time: something other than rain stopped play!

A delight it was to see Chris walk the walk of victory with a 36 pack of beer up to the dugout, turning to the patrol cars to see what was happenning, his ammo still on his shoulder. although, the best action was to see him teach Coach A to let the first pitch go by, no matter what, then hit a home run; after calling it.

A great BL start to the game with a 7-0 on their (our) side in the first, with one of theirs actually using one hand to hit a double; ahem; our first inning starts by having our first three batsmen eliminated. okaiii; but it was only a matter of time before the big hitters came home, see Klo run like a gazelle holding her shorts all the way across the bases, Erika and Annie seriously putting their weels on... we unleashed the gentle fury, hitting eight in the third taking back the lead;the middle innings were by far the best comparision to ourselves as of yet... making crazy overthrows and sick drops, (and I'm in no way mentionning K-Lo's donkey drop). We fooled them by thinking we weren't doing it on purpose!!

Our pitchers excelled... ICBM's by Jules, sexy spinners by coach A, Tim's magical sidewinders. they were dazzled and couldn't keep it together. Todd and Steve hitting solidly, and had it not been for John "i'm only on my fourth long Island IT" we would have doubled our score; so we had to finnish in style by making Tim win it for us, but only after having to run for dear life as he had "Butts n' Gutts" Steve on his tail (no pun intended) all the way to home plate; Artistic skills that I never suspected were unearthed at Solly's for our mythical after hour victory feast. decoration varied, such as the tasteful "hit that shit" on my shirt. thanks for that Chris. Pizza came. and went. reflected the carnage we unleashed on the field.

See you all soon, thanks for all the fun, and good times. Next year, we'll have a multicultaural reward scheme for home runners; a mexican hat, and a kilt to wear; to the soundtrack of " we're shittin' on niggaz"; it came from the car.
i m not shiitin' you.

love to all, Bnads.

some pics from barnabe's last game...more to come

we're on a winning streak!!!

which makes whoever isn't on our team a LOSER

BL unpredictably wins, then loses

well it certainly was a roller coaster out there folks.

grunley showed up with a meager 7 guys and a bunch of girls in jeans who wouldn't pee in the alley, but had to go to the Giant which delayed the game significantly. we sported our new shirts and trucker hats (we looked gooood) yet worried that we didn't have a full team. but when the all-girl infield (except for adams) set up the first inning, there was a smell of estrogen and winning in the air.
they scored a meager 3 runs in the top of the first, and then came a powerhouse BL like no one's ever seen. the great thing about having a small roster is that you get on base. a lot. and that's how you get SEVEN. STRAIGHT. RUNS. our beer cooler was full, our mouths watering with wasabi peas, our demeanor: quite positive, yet their heckling - poignant.
we managed to pull another few innings of total crushage. they dared not throw any more comments at Chris as he pounded 2 homers. Jason followed suit with a beauty full of bases. Billy shows up late and whacks it into the outfield with his hearty laugh. then Adam, then Barnabe, then Khlamad, our slew of ladies. like a freight train.
in the field, we were unstoppable. third base rookie lisa had first asked "how does one play third base?" and it was clear she was born with the skills. the super height and snazzy cutoffs jeans helped too. Barnabe made some crazy catches in left field and with his sideways hat, we concurred: "is that justin hospital out there?" in right field Billy swooped in for an amazing catch that almost took out Jason, but it was funny.
our amazing 11 point lead for the first 6 innings should have taught us to end the game there, but no, we opted for a 7th and that's when lady luck went to solly's without us. the other team ran out of beer, and we let motormouth into the dugout. it messed with our mojo! i was trying to pitch but all i could hear was "cooliwenttocollegeyocanyoudig? i'mWILDabouthtecaucasiangirlsyocheckoutmydebitcard" and while the other team sobered up, we sank down into a rut from season 4 and there we were, 10 runs down. so sad.

nevertheless, we made it to solly's with a team we deemed good enough for our end of year tourney, and had Danzig resonating from the jukebox.

diagnosis: losing is fun

So Steve described it pretty accurately last night: "you know, even when we lose, it's still really fun."

indeed.

what started off as a rather classy affair with brandon's sushi bar on the bench turned into a bit of a BL slaughter.

the competition was tough, what with their endless supply of balls and home run hitters to launch them into Ward 7.

The competition was also quite fierce for "mascot of the game" between lila the blue-eyed dog and tug the pug. you be the judge.

But in the game we only did what we could, have a little double plays here and there, some fumbles, some great catches, the profession of joel's secret love for Carli and peppered comments about their steroid use and low sperm count. it wasn't until after the game that i realized the old guy hanging around their dugout was their coach's dad. thankfully, i also found out he's a bit hard of hearing. whew!

also a big kudos for the only BL home run of the evening by our own by upcoming rookie of the year Adam, pictured here, drinking the pain away (he was heard mumbling "Jessica" and "Bhutan" between sips).

He was also very considerate in not putting it over the second fence, so the ball was recovered. But the no talent Az clowns really showed their true colors by overestimating our run count, and then meeting us at the bar afterwards. there was a tower of pbrs waiting for us upon arrival, nice people indeed. even though k-lo admitted there were none worthy of her phone number. ouch!

it's a winning streak people

if you happened to be hanging around the alley at 5th and O streets NW last night, you might have noticed something unusual. verrrry unusual. and no, i'm not talking about the police officer with the adorable little pug in his cop car. there was this softball team, called Bases Loaded and they were catching softballs, and hitting them, and scoring runs. of course there were 20 of them to the other team's 9. but still. a double play? am i making this up?! it was out of this league, out of this world! we all got on base! well, except for k-lo who had two pop flys to third...but then again she might have scored a home run with glover park guy after the game...hehehe? did i just write that? oh snap!

BL shocks nation with its first win of the season

You heard it right here, folks, Bases Loaded did some winnin' last nite!

The Natural Disaster's did a lot of complaining, that we didn't share dugouts, that we didn't have our all-women infield, that we didn't have a grill, that we gave them faulty gloves...but the sham worked! we played with their minds (we actually knew the rules about forcing to second), Joel had a succsessful NOONAN! that made their ladies man drop a fly, and then we had a typical 2 out rally that sent them packin'. it was definitely unusual BL, we had an all-star infield with John at short who stopped pretty much everything (throws left a little to be desired), Steve shut out third, Annie who caught one with her boob, and Fletch and Adam on first who, when put together are almost one Uncle Phatt :) and some rotating pitchers...newcomer Tim is looking goood..Matched by the A-team outfield with Micah and Barnabe, who both ended one inning all by themselves. Then came the hitting...some nice whacks by all, Barnabe had an in the park home run when we needed it, and Jessica slammed one over second and raced to first before they knew what happened. final score: 13 to 12. take that!

and then we smeared our victory all the way to Solly's, drank a pile of pbrs and earned ourselves some new Ts. if you didn't get your size and style choice to me, better do it fast (you have a choice of ringer T, 3/4 baseball sleeve, long sleeve or cap T for the ladies).
so let's keep up the good work and repeat the same next week. same time, same place, it's OUR field now, btw. motormouth is spreading the word. we're going to have a field crew and an electric scoreboard, you'll see...so far we've lined up a boombox that comes with a guy in a wheelchair.

so go ahead, tell your co-workers you're a winner. you earned it.