BL ends season with fantastic hairdos

FEATS OF STRENGTH

It is henceforth decreed throughout the land that any female bases loaded member can, and should, perform the following feats of strength to take up her rightful place of leadership of our glorious, winning, aptly named softball club.

Meg, Lisa, Suzanne, Jess....any other takers for this crown?

Feats of Strength:

1. A good coach must be able to function fairly normally while intoxicated and potentially dizzy from delight at her winning team. To that end, the first feat of strength will be the whirly bat competition. (Note: For this, as for all feats of strength, shots/beers shall be ordered indiscriminately as rewards/punishments/inducements/hindrances. Rules exist only in the minds of the triumvirate, and that's all you need to know.)

2. A good coach much also be an excellent base coach (i'm serious jules). To that end, the second feat of strength will be for each participant to coach first base for at least two innings and make outrageous calls in our favor.

3. A really good coach must be able to negotiate with the other team in terms of rules, playing fields, etc. To that end, the third feat of strength will be to negotiate/swindle the natty d's into buying rounds for the captains and judges. (this will be ridiculously easy, and we're basically throwing you a softball here. ha ha) Bonus points for negotiating with peyton, cause he's a tough cookie.

4. A quality coach must also be able to think on her feet. To that end, the next feat of strength will be an interview competition. Perhaps, 'how can solly's improve world peace?', or 'how does ben's chili bowl improve world peace?' or 'is world peace an impossible dream made unachievable by global capitalism, man's innate hunger for power and self-destruction, and our perpetual state of numbness caused by television and a celebrity based culture?'. or something like that. if you can outdo miss teen south carolina, there's some big bonus points in it for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLIcY2QgLeA

5. Last but not least, a really really good coach must have excellent musical taste. Each contestant will pick a song on the jukebox at solly's that she feels best represents this season of bl glory. This will be judged by the triumvirate. Phish or Debbie Gibson are grounds for immediate disqualification.

Any questions?
Good.

Let the games begin.Kisses, coach a, ass coach and deputy ass

BL's new game ball

hit a home run with this thing!

last game vs. Natty Ds

you can't swing at the ball,
you can only drink beeer,
you can't catch a fly ball, even when it's neeear,
you can noonan their outfielder, cause him to rage,
you play like season one
but you're always a winner to meeeee

so let's just forget,
just drink it away,
we have a big game next week on a thursday
against the big bad smelly natural disasters
you better be there or
you'll funnel a big one for the teeeeam

oooooohhhhhh how it will be so awesome
to kill natty Ds once again
and then take them to Sollys
Ooooooooh and there's one more surpriiiise
no it won't be our demise,
there's some news to announce:

at inning number four
while khlamad goes to the stooore,
the feats of strength will be proven and more
by the new potential ass coach, who will it beeeee?
maybe jess, maybe kathryn, suzanne,
lisa, meg, but not meeee!

game is at our home field,
you know it's called Bundy
but if any other team asks, you tell them Kennedy
it's our field, our secret, and no one can know
that the source of our wins
is motormouth, the pee smelling alley!!

what's up with this team?

so i get to the field and joel is like "so erika, what's up with your dog? i hear it has gingivitis" and it's khlamad's birthday, and he's all "grip and growl?" and then the girls are like "wow, can you believe those are high school guys?" and then i'm like "who's the fastest one we can recruit" and their 400 lb. assistant coach says "I am!" and then we're like "warming up is for losers" and then Bases Loaded is like "we're crushing you with these 6 runs" and then Chris is like "WZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" with his new kazoo and Jules is like "I've eaten too many grapes" and then the other team is all "we suck" and then Joel is like "noonan" and their first base man is like "that's not cool" and then their dude hits the ball and it's like "i'm going to take your head off!" and then my pitches are like "i can barely make it over the plate" but then lisa is like "i'm totally catching 3 pop-flys this inning" and then matt is like "who are these guys? is this the same team as last year?" and then the next inning is like "remember me? the blooper reel?" and then the grip and growl goes "VROOOOOOOOM!" and john is like "in the park home run bitches, where's my sombrero?" and then aaron is like "i'll show you chumps how we play in brooklyn" and then the score is like, "tied" and then there's some tasty base running like "score!" and lots of slides, like "swooosh" and we're all like, "take that losers" we score a whole bunch of other runs and jules is like, "so you guys are the non-pros, like non-prophylactics?" and someone is like "yeah, no condoms, we like it raw" and then johnny is like "who's turn is it to funnel?" and then the funnel is like "BOOOYA!" and then Solly's is all "yay! we won! again!" and then everyone is like "i'm drunk" and then i'm like "i'll take wron fllafllelel plrease" and aaron is like "yorrrrr me tooo, what's with all these frixins" and then my tummy is like "thank you" and then my brain is like......"BL rules."

recap of game 12: BL vs. BL

there seems to be a mid season message hanging over bases loaded, and that message is... beware..
i do sincerely believe that we now have, without any doubt put our wheels on; the score: 7-5!
in true style, the team started arriving late, apart from Johnny "where is everybody" Palena, showing up at 5h30, and candidly pointing out, that the overturned car was not, as I thought, parked in the middle of the alley; little did we know that he would then crush three of our players with superb catches in the outfield, making bases loaded his own "coda alla vaccinara".

As for the Nissan, after accelerating under demonic influences and remodelling the neighborood, we had a similar wreck of our own, never looked so good too, even better when it was being dragged across the alley, and making history for the first time: something other than rain stopped play!

A delight it was to see Chris walk the walk of victory with a 36 pack of beer up to the dugout, turning to the patrol cars to see what was happenning, his ammo still on his shoulder. although, the best action was to see him teach Coach A to let the first pitch go by, no matter what, then hit a home run; after calling it.

A great BL start to the game with a 7-0 on their (our) side in the first, with one of theirs actually using one hand to hit a double; ahem; our first inning starts by having our first three batsmen eliminated. okaiii; but it was only a matter of time before the big hitters came home, see Klo run like a gazelle holding her shorts all the way across the bases, Erika and Annie seriously putting their weels on... we unleashed the gentle fury, hitting eight in the third taking back the lead;the middle innings were by far the best comparision to ourselves as of yet... making crazy overthrows and sick drops, (and I'm in no way mentionning K-Lo's donkey drop). We fooled them by thinking we weren't doing it on purpose!!

Our pitchers excelled... ICBM's by Jules, sexy spinners by coach A, Tim's magical sidewinders. they were dazzled and couldn't keep it together. Todd and Steve hitting solidly, and had it not been for John "i'm only on my fourth long Island IT" we would have doubled our score; so we had to finnish in style by making Tim win it for us, but only after having to run for dear life as he had "Butts n' Gutts" Steve on his tail (no pun intended) all the way to home plate; Artistic skills that I never suspected were unearthed at Solly's for our mythical after hour victory feast. decoration varied, such as the tasteful "hit that shit" on my shirt. thanks for that Chris. Pizza came. and went. reflected the carnage we unleashed on the field.

See you all soon, thanks for all the fun, and good times. Next year, we'll have a multicultaural reward scheme for home runners; a mexican hat, and a kilt to wear; to the soundtrack of " we're shittin' on niggaz"; it came from the car.
i m not shiitin' you.

love to all, Bnads.

some pics from barnabe's last game...more to come

we're on a winning streak!!!

which makes whoever isn't on our team a LOSER

BL unpredictably wins, then loses

well it certainly was a roller coaster out there folks.

grunley showed up with a meager 7 guys and a bunch of girls in jeans who wouldn't pee in the alley, but had to go to the Giant which delayed the game significantly. we sported our new shirts and trucker hats (we looked gooood) yet worried that we didn't have a full team. but when the all-girl infield (except for adams) set up the first inning, there was a smell of estrogen and winning in the air.
they scored a meager 3 runs in the top of the first, and then came a powerhouse BL like no one's ever seen. the great thing about having a small roster is that you get on base. a lot. and that's how you get SEVEN. STRAIGHT. RUNS. our beer cooler was full, our mouths watering with wasabi peas, our demeanor: quite positive, yet their heckling - poignant.
we managed to pull another few innings of total crushage. they dared not throw any more comments at Chris as he pounded 2 homers. Jason followed suit with a beauty full of bases. Billy shows up late and whacks it into the outfield with his hearty laugh. then Adam, then Barnabe, then Khlamad, our slew of ladies. like a freight train.
in the field, we were unstoppable. third base rookie lisa had first asked "how does one play third base?" and it was clear she was born with the skills. the super height and snazzy cutoffs jeans helped too. Barnabe made some crazy catches in left field and with his sideways hat, we concurred: "is that justin hospital out there?" in right field Billy swooped in for an amazing catch that almost took out Jason, but it was funny.
our amazing 11 point lead for the first 6 innings should have taught us to end the game there, but no, we opted for a 7th and that's when lady luck went to solly's without us. the other team ran out of beer, and we let motormouth into the dugout. it messed with our mojo! i was trying to pitch but all i could hear was "cooliwenttocollegeyocanyoudig? i'mWILDabouthtecaucasiangirlsyocheckoutmydebitcard" and while the other team sobered up, we sank down into a rut from season 4 and there we were, 10 runs down. so sad.

nevertheless, we made it to solly's with a team we deemed good enough for our end of year tourney, and had Danzig resonating from the jukebox.

diagnosis: losing is fun

So Steve described it pretty accurately last night: "you know, even when we lose, it's still really fun."

indeed.

what started off as a rather classy affair with brandon's sushi bar on the bench turned into a bit of a BL slaughter.

the competition was tough, what with their endless supply of balls and home run hitters to launch them into Ward 7.

The competition was also quite fierce for "mascot of the game" between lila the blue-eyed dog and tug the pug. you be the judge.

But in the game we only did what we could, have a little double plays here and there, some fumbles, some great catches, the profession of joel's secret love for Carli and peppered comments about their steroid use and low sperm count. it wasn't until after the game that i realized the old guy hanging around their dugout was their coach's dad. thankfully, i also found out he's a bit hard of hearing. whew!

also a big kudos for the only BL home run of the evening by our own by upcoming rookie of the year Adam, pictured here, drinking the pain away (he was heard mumbling "Jessica" and "Bhutan" between sips).

He was also very considerate in not putting it over the second fence, so the ball was recovered. But the no talent Az clowns really showed their true colors by overestimating our run count, and then meeting us at the bar afterwards. there was a tower of pbrs waiting for us upon arrival, nice people indeed. even though k-lo admitted there were none worthy of her phone number. ouch!

it's a winning streak people

if you happened to be hanging around the alley at 5th and O streets NW last night, you might have noticed something unusual. verrrry unusual. and no, i'm not talking about the police officer with the adorable little pug in his cop car. there was this softball team, called Bases Loaded and they were catching softballs, and hitting them, and scoring runs. of course there were 20 of them to the other team's 9. but still. a double play? am i making this up?! it was out of this league, out of this world! we all got on base! well, except for k-lo who had two pop flys to third...but then again she might have scored a home run with glover park guy after the game...hehehe? did i just write that? oh snap!

BL shocks nation with its first win of the season

You heard it right here, folks, Bases Loaded did some winnin' last nite!

The Natural Disaster's did a lot of complaining, that we didn't share dugouts, that we didn't have our all-women infield, that we didn't have a grill, that we gave them faulty gloves...but the sham worked! we played with their minds (we actually knew the rules about forcing to second), Joel had a succsessful NOONAN! that made their ladies man drop a fly, and then we had a typical 2 out rally that sent them packin'. it was definitely unusual BL, we had an all-star infield with John at short who stopped pretty much everything (throws left a little to be desired), Steve shut out third, Annie who caught one with her boob, and Fletch and Adam on first who, when put together are almost one Uncle Phatt :) and some rotating pitchers...newcomer Tim is looking goood..Matched by the A-team outfield with Micah and Barnabe, who both ended one inning all by themselves. Then came the hitting...some nice whacks by all, Barnabe had an in the park home run when we needed it, and Jessica slammed one over second and raced to first before they knew what happened. final score: 13 to 12. take that!

and then we smeared our victory all the way to Solly's, drank a pile of pbrs and earned ourselves some new Ts. if you didn't get your size and style choice to me, better do it fast (you have a choice of ringer T, 3/4 baseball sleeve, long sleeve or cap T for the ladies).
so let's keep up the good work and repeat the same next week. same time, same place, it's OUR field now, btw. motormouth is spreading the word. we're going to have a field crew and an electric scoreboard, you'll see...so far we've lined up a boombox that comes with a guy in a wheelchair.

so go ahead, tell your co-workers you're a winner. you earned it.

resolutionaries...

ok, so BL already made it clear that we don't like playing against people who:

-don't drink anything but gatorade
-don't appear to have fun (except when they're cruising around the bases. jerks)
-have the bare minimum number of girls who sortof look like dudes
-who set up a crappy bumpy field
-pitch total garbage
-and just launch softballs into outer space.

weak.

anyway, if it makes them feel better, when the winning team nestled into bed at 8pm, that they beat a bunch of (hot) half-drunk ladies and some dudes who were out downing pitchers of miller lite or was it budweiser? like champions. at around 10pm, i noticed my pee was totally clear. that's healthy! and that's why we drink cheap beer, people.