FEATS OF STRENGTH

It is henceforth decreed throughout the land that any female bases loaded member can, and should, perform the following feats of strength to take up her rightful place of leadership of our glorious, winning, aptly named softball club.

Meg, Lisa, Suzanne, Jess....any other takers for this crown?

Feats of Strength:

1. A good coach must be able to function fairly normally while intoxicated and potentially dizzy from delight at her winning team. To that end, the first feat of strength will be the whirly bat competition. (Note: For this, as for all feats of strength, shots/beers shall be ordered indiscriminately as rewards/punishments/inducements/hindrances. Rules exist only in the minds of the triumvirate, and that's all you need to know.)

2. A good coach much also be an excellent base coach (i'm serious jules). To that end, the second feat of strength will be for each participant to coach first base for at least two innings and make outrageous calls in our favor.

3. A really good coach must be able to negotiate with the other team in terms of rules, playing fields, etc. To that end, the third feat of strength will be to negotiate/swindle the natty d's into buying rounds for the captains and judges. (this will be ridiculously easy, and we're basically throwing you a softball here. ha ha) Bonus points for negotiating with peyton, cause he's a tough cookie.

4. A quality coach must also be able to think on her feet. To that end, the next feat of strength will be an interview competition. Perhaps, 'how can solly's improve world peace?', or 'how does ben's chili bowl improve world peace?' or 'is world peace an impossible dream made unachievable by global capitalism, man's innate hunger for power and self-destruction, and our perpetual state of numbness caused by television and a celebrity based culture?'. or something like that. if you can outdo miss teen south carolina, there's some big bonus points in it for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLIcY2QgLeA

5. Last but not least, a really really good coach must have excellent musical taste. Each contestant will pick a song on the jukebox at solly's that she feels best represents this season of bl glory. This will be judged by the triumvirate. Phish or Debbie Gibson are grounds for immediate disqualification.

Any questions?
Good.

Let the games begin.Kisses, coach a, ass coach and deputy ass