rain rain, bitch! go away!
Bases Loaded has a big game today
i know humidity's good for my curly hair
can't you just go to Ohio, i hear there's a drought over there
our cigarettes and beer, they're gonna be all soggy
and our outfield, it's already marshlike - almost boggy
i bought 50 hot dogs and healthy whole wheat buns
for us to eat while we score (very few) home runs
our opponent is missing their best player (wagner!)
which will turn our team into a Natural Disaster slayer
a rainout tonight, would just be a bummer
because, we haven't won a single game all summer
ok, unless you count two forfeits and that game in may
that you guys won while coach A was away
seriously y'all, i haven't had a beer all week!
ok..i'm lying, i know sobriety makes you weak.
tonight is the return of big man uncle phatt
who in his electric car, has our sombrero and super special bat
k-lo is carrying a beer bong, bases on the metro
let's hope they don't get stolen at gunpoint in the ghett(r)o
our lady infield has perfected the "bend and flip"
around the horn, calling safe at second? oh they'll give you some lip
with our awesome pitcher, i hear she's packin' heat
throwing all strikes tonight, no balls, a most noble feat,
tonight i have a few ringers, some good swingers can't hurt
seriously, these guys are gonna raise the terror threat alert
because cooker jules and chris, well they have to work
in their kitchens (planning weddings?), dishwashers going' bezerk
ned and sue they're off to grad school
out drinkin' with co-eds, getting phDs to make them cool
so please just for now, clear up the sky
and let our dugout and home plate mud dry
what will it take, human sacrifice?
for the rain to cooperate, just play nice?
i offer you Joel, who plays third base,
we've got tons of cuter girls who can take his place
still, you just can't stop the BL studebaker freight train,
we'll still go out and get drunk, if it really starts to rain
location to be determined, i say: the red roof inn!
or perhaps my brother's place? if they let us in
so i'm going to log into NOAA's weather.gov
checking the radar, please show BL some love!
i'm begging you look, i'm down on my knees
won't you stop the drizzle from 6 tp 9pm, pretty please?
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