one perspective...

In the most anticipated rivalry since Shaq and Kobe, the Natural Disasters met Bases Loaded at Ghett-O park Thursday night for their second matchup of the 2006 season! Coach A's sacrifice to the rain gods had paid off, so the bases were laid and the infield grass was combed for hypodermic needles, which had mysteriously grown about 4 inches taller than the outfield. As both teams began warming up, though, the love and smell of dog poo that was in the air began to dissipate. Uncle Phatt threw a ball over his teammate's head, hitting Nicci in the wrist--which sent her running in circles, and eventually to Damian! Fortunately, EMT Blake had just arrived to the scene, and he dressed Nicci's wounds, while Cap'n Smash poured her a cold Miller Lite. Who says Disasters aren't troopers!

With the rest of the players beginning to trickle in, we decided once again to share the 3rd base dugout between both teams. The sacred "home run sombrero" and beer bong were hung on the chain link with care, with hopes that beer chugging soon would be there. Bases Loaded's Khlamad, with help from former Special Forces bada$$ Damian, got the fire going on the non-starter charcoal grill, while the bug spray was passed from player to player. As the coals started glowing, so did the Disaster bats, who lead off the first inning with a single by Deena and RBI double by Yier. After scoring 3 runs, the Disasters were off to a great start! Bases Loaded responded by barraging Yier with fly balls in left field, but were held to only one run by the bottom of the first.

The second inning was when all the fun began. Cap'n Smash, who played in flip flops the whole game, shotgunned a beer at home plate, then beat the throw to first for a single. Next Damian and Deena knocked in singles, followed by Yier, who dribbled an RBI to the pitcher. Hoping he could don the sombrero, Blake crushed a blow to the outfield, but couldn't beat the throw at home, and was tagged out. No sombrero for you! Nevertheless, he had knocked in two more runs, and by the bottom of the inning the score was 7-1. Leading off, Bases Loaded put their new recruit up to bat, who we nicknamed "French Geronimo." At first Francois tried to drag bunt down the 1st base line (don't they all?), then overran second base! "Next time use the Meeshell Smith bat," the Disasters taunted!

In the top of the third inning, Chuck decided to finally put the beer bong to good use. He wolfed down a cold one in 1.9 seconds and then jacked a pitch right to the fence. (The Disasters will employ this tactic in the tournament, by the way.) With one more run on the board, and the smell of brats settling in, the evening was turning out to be pretty good. The beer was obviously helping, because our defensive skills that inning were remarkable. Alicia made an awesome one hop grab in right field, and Deena had two outs at second. Then Derrick made an Alfonso Soriano-like catch, sprinting halfway across the outfield to snag a well-hit fly ball. "I can't believe the ball stuck right in my glove!" he exclaimed. "I'm just glad the Disasters chose not to trade me after all," he stated in a press conference after the game. Shortly thereafter, Derrick agreed to a 5-year contract extension. Keeping the Bases scoreless in the 3rd, an 8-2 lead made us (the 10th ranked team in Congsoftball!) a little too comfortable, though. In the 4th inning, Bases Loaded began their comeback, lead by their shortstop John who clobbered the ball to the outfield fence. 4 runs later, the score was nearly tied! But by the bottom of the 4th, the chicken brats and veggie dogs were finally ready for consumption. Hopefully this would give our team the much-needed sustenance to hold off the hungry, albeit winless, Bases!

With darkness setting in by just the 5th inning, it was time to switch to the yellow ball. An easy 3-up, 3-down order was all it would take to seal the victory. Cap'n Smash turned around and gave batter Kristy her butt as a target at third base, which she nearly actually hit with a rip down the third base line! Just two batters later, their third base coach Fletch "Bill it to the Underhills" had another line drive to left field. Then, when argumentation ensued over who should be the cutoff man, the Disasters finally lost their composure. The Bases had set fire to their bats all of a sudden, with hit after hit after hit! Finally, when big man Uncle Phatt hit a 3-run homer to the fence, the last nail had been put in the coffin. Calling the game on account of errors, um, I mean darkness, the Disasters admitted defeat to the mighty Bases. Final score 10-13!

Both teams retreated to their cozy third bases dugout, where we polished off the brats and beer and toasted Goldschlager shots! After the tournament, we'll be playing a final time, hopefully at the end of September. Keep your calendars clear for the "Jules Rules" game, which promises to be the best showdown yet!